benniesposito.com

[GrahamP]

I remember Benni had the idea that going camping would be fun, so we set off with Janet and Nicole to somewhere, I really have no idea where - it was by a loch.

It was such a great day, we got the tents pitched with the traditional palaver then went foraging for sticks and climbing up the hill. Bit of a hiccup as I'd been supposed to bring the food. Not being a vegetarian at that time, and not entirely au fait with the concept, I'd thought he could have the fruit slice from the breakfast pack - sandwiched between the sausage and black pudding as it was. Luckily Nicole had come prepared.

In the morning we inflated the dinghies and went rowing on the loch - paddling against the current, trying to get back to base while Benni kept pecking at me in his guise of 'Scunner the Seagull', was so funny. Such a happy time.

The more I think of these memories of Benni, the more life without him seems too sad for words.

[Wee Sandy]

Just before the Edinburgh Fringe Festival a few years ago I, and others, were taken in by Benni's pre-fest wind-ups.

He invented fringe shows that he convinced us were in the programme.

One I really fell for was a show called "Hats Off To Dougie Dunlop." This, he said , was a one-man show by Dougie based around Come Dancing but was all full of holocaust revisionist metaphors.

I know now how ridiculous that sounds, but Benni was very convincing and had me looking at Dougie in a new light for ages.

Wee wind-up merchant that he was.

[GrahamP]

Just thinking of 'Hats off to Dougie Dunlop' made me **** myself - that was a classic!

However I think 'Hats off to Dougie Dunlop' was a straightforward dance homage - the holocaust one was 'Simpfeld's List', a one-man version of 'Schindler's List' written by and starring Colin 'Simpfeld' Simpson.

Do you remember 'Simpfeld's List' Simpfeld?

[wee leslee]

Really sad to hear the news and had been a while since last bumped into Benni. All the memories I have are fond ones, mostly from college.

One occasion I remember was when we were in first year. Benni had been working on a painting for some time and when it was well on the way I recognise the subject. I went up to see my friend in her painting studio, his then girlfriend, to announce that he had been doing a painting of her... naked, stretched out on her bed. Very obviously her in her room.

Funny seeing her rush out saying "oh my god the whole college has seen me naked now". Nice one! any similar stories?

[GrahamP]

We used this in the show 'Road From Dundee', it was true - a girl at the Art College had made a plaster cast of her breasts. She disappeared for lunch leaving them lying around. Benni chanced along, seeing this (very pert it has to be said) pair of breasts with no owner around, he swiftly scooped them up and put them in his locker.
She returned to find them gone, leading to a memorable cry of 'someone's stolen my tits'.

[martin esposito]

i remember when benni was president of the art college student union. he had a cash and carry card. benni, myself, scott stewart and a couple of others would generally go up there once a week. they had a couple of fantastic, but really cheap brands of lager - 'lynx' and 'scorpion' we would buy a few crates and benni would often add the biggest jar of pickled gherkins and the biggest jar of olives in the world to our trolley. it was always really amusing pushing this trolley around amongst all the shop keepers with our collection of produce.....cheap lager, olives and gherkins!.

occasionally benni would also add a box of 'pot noodles', chicken and mushroom flavour of course.

[martin esposito]

i am sure everyone would agree that benni was a fantastic story teller. he was able to captivate any audience with his genuine wit and amazingly creative mind.

i remember when we were both quite young (i was about 7 or 8 ) and shared a bedroom. we had bunk beds, benni being the eldest got the top bunk. one night when i couldn't get to sleep benni created this story about a huge colony of mice that lived beneath our school, kinloch primary(probably not far from the truth!). he named this colony 'the nibblers'. the nibblers would have these amazing adventures during the night when the school was closed. unfortunately i cannot remember any specific stories other than once i think they prevented the school from flooding. thinking back, he must have almost been making these stories up as he went along but they were always amazingly exciting and intriguing. from that night on i didn't want to sleep as i was eager for the next nibblers installment. in fact he eventually got really annoyed with me as he wanted to get some sleep.

[Elizabeth]

over the past few weeks i have logged onto this site, looking with interest at all the stories being shared about my Benni. from a very early age, he could make us all in the family laugh. i remember one time we were having a concert in the house. sharon, benni and martin would often put on little shows for us. this particular time we were taping it onto a cassette. sharon was the compere, running from one side of the room to introduce the acts on the mike, then back to the piano to play her tunes, martin was singing 'the wheels on the bus' then benni announced he was going to tell a joke!! he then proceded to tell a funny story. he must have only been 4 or 5 years old. we still have that cassette somewhere around the house. although i am still struggling to come to terms with our loss it is a comfort to know he held and indeed still holds a special place in so many hearts.

[raedarcy]

Well I want to tell a couple of stories actually, the first is about benni at the Edinburgh Fringe festival a couple of years ago, (I had an absolutely fantastic time), cutting a long story short...we were in the cue for an act & a friend of benni's gave him his slot for the evening. It was great really funny, although I must admit to being a little three sheets to the wind throughout the entire weekend anyway the joke that I want to recount is this one, My dad died last year.... ******* it was his round!!!! Benni's humour has had me in hystertics all my life, & his art in these past few years, captivated me entirely. So much talent, what a great friend.
The other joke i'll save for a later date..........
I will really really miss him.

[GrahamP]

I've been working at a new place in central London, lots of lovely young ladies. Was speaking to perhaps the loveliest today, about friends, she asked me who my best friends were, without thinking my first reply was going to be Benni, as it would have been for the past 7 years.

Then I thought of all the things which I'd love to tell Benni, would love to hear what he had to say about them. I can't stand that it's getting farther and farther away from the time when Benni was here, saying funny things, sending funny emails and texts. Cycled past the Adelphi theatre where we saw Hasselhoff, thought that it's now 6 months since we were there.

So, I told this lovely young lady about Benni, how wonderful he was. But I wish it didn't have to be in the past tense. I can imagine that everyone who misses Benni feels the same, that there is a void which will never be filled.

[GrahamP]

I always loved Benni's 'Littlewoods' stories about when he worked there as a student.

He worked on Sunday morning so he'd come in with a stinking hangover and, because of the low-quality fare, have to 'inflate' the yorkshire puddings - by mouth. His booze-breath was so bad that once the unlucky diner pierced one of these misbegotten foodstuffs the stench was enough to knock out all of those within a 20 metre radius.

Classic.

[GrahamP]

I think the first story Benni ever told me, one which had me in hysterics, was when he was at a party chatting up a girl who was mad-keen on Robotics.

He'd been talking to her for an hour telling her what an expert in Robotics he was, how he was an expert in Asimov's 3 laws of robotics etc. Finally she said to him 'I hope this isn't asking too much but I'd love to see some of your moves'.

Immediately Benni leaped up and marched out the room shouting 'I AM A ROBOT, I AM A ROBOT'.

[GrahamP]

This was just after Benni's 28th birthday party, I was going to London the next day to fly to Germany and Benni was taking a trip to London to plan his move there.

I'd discussed travel plans with Benni, wondering whether to fly or get the train. He proposed an alternative method - hitchhike! He recounted enough stories from his band-days to convince me this would be not only fun but punctual and economically advantageous.

We waited an hour outside Dundee for our first ride. This took us a mile. The situatin improved somewhat after that when a Glaswegian pigeon-fancier called Willie took us to Glasgow. We then got two truck-drivers intent on racing one another. However as their speed was capped at 56mph this was hardly formula 1. After buying them lunch they dropped us off near Preton assuring us this was the premier hitchhiking layby in the land. After 10 hours waiting this began to seem a somewhat inaccurate statement. As night drew we decided the only option was to spend the evening in a hotel. By this stage any economic comparison to train travel would hardly have proven favourable. And the hotel only had one double-bedroom left, which we had to share. A great picture of us lying in bed like Morecame and Wise with Benni reading a book I had called 'Life's Losers'.

Situation improved the next day, an eccentric car-transporter driver took us, or zig-zagged us as he dropped off his cargo - it seemed every time we were getting somewhere he'd turn-off - to our destinations. I made the flight by 10 minutes, Benni eventually landed in London.

It may have taken most of two days to get there, it may have cost twice a trainfare but it was an incredible trip, because of Benni. He had me splitting my sides, even after 10 hours in a layby he never stopped looking for the comedy in every situation. He could just make anything funny - have never hitchhiked since and can't imagine doing so again but for that journey it really was the only way to travel.

[Wee Sandy]

Hej Graham,

Do you remember Dave from Comedy Giants? The fictional comedy agent and alter ego of you and Benni? I believe he got me into the Mardi for free a couple of times. A phone call would be made:
"Hi, it's Dave from Comedy Giants here." (heavy cockernee accent)
"Hi there."
"Listen love, we've got a few of our acts playing in Dundee tonight, any chance you could stick the compere and the headliner on the guest list."
"Yeah, sure, no problem Dave."
"Ta, love. The names are Benni Esposito and Sandy Nelson."
"Ok, Dave. Bye."
"Bye then."

And Bob's yer aunties live in lover-free entry!

Any more Dave stories?

Sandy.

[GrahamP]

Nicely remembered Sandy - infact Dave had a friend, one Jaffa Wilson who was originally a nom-de-plum for articles in the Student Times. However he grew in stature, kept writing articles and Benni took it on as a mission to convince people he actually existed. A typical conversation would go something like this -

(Benni to first year student)

'have you seen Jaffa?'
'Jaffa who?'
'You know, Jaffa Wilson - does all the stuff for the Student Times'
'oh yeah'
'do you know where he is?'
'no'
'you're friends with him, right?'
'not really'
'oh come on, i saw you guys together at the Freshers Show, tall guy, dark hair'
'oh .... yeah - him'
'he's a top bloke, you been hanging out much with him?'
'yeah, a bit, he's in a couple of my classes', we've been out a couple of times'
'cool, any idea where he is tonight?'
'actually he did say he might be along later'.

Best bit was when a student, entirely genuinely, came up to Benni and said 'I was speaking to Jaffa today, he was asking after you'.

Hope you're good Sandy - how's the comedy going?